People-Pleasing: 6 Signs You’re Sacrificing Yourself
Supporting others might be coming at your own expense
People-pleasing often disguises itself as kindness, loyalty, and flexibility. While these traits are admirable, they can quietly erode your boundaries and self-worth when taken to the extreme.
Here are six subtle signs that your desire to help and support others might be coming at your own expense.
1. You instinctively step in to help
You’re always ready to offer your time, energy, or resources-even when it’s inconvenient. Your generosity is a gift, but if you find yourself saying yes out of fear of disappointing others, it may be a sign that your kindness is driven by obligation rather than true willingness.
2. Accommodating others’ preferences
You go with the flow, happy to accommodate others’ preferences, even if they clash with your own. You tell yourself it’s easier to keep the peace, but deep down, you may be suppressing your true opinions and desires to avoid conflict or rejection.
3. Prioritising other people’s feelings
You feel deeply for others, sensing their emotions before they even speak. While empathy is a beautiful quality, constantly prioritising other people’s feelings over your own can leave you emotionally drained and disconnected from your own needs.
4. Being reliable and devoted
You pride yourself on being reliable and devoted, standing by friends, family, and colleagues no matter what. But does your loyalty sometimes keep you in relationships or situations that no longer serve you? True commitment should never come at the cost of your own well-being.
5. Humility
You downplay your achievements, deflect compliments, and give credit to others, fearing that recognition might come across as arrogance. While humility is admirable, constantly diminishing yourself can stem from a deeper fear of standing out or making others uncomfortable.
6. Adaptable
You adjust, accommodate, and rearrange your plans to suit others, rarely asserting your own needs. While adaptability is a strength, bending too much can leave you feeling invisible – like a supporting character in your own life story.
Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals with high levels of agreeableness often prioritise others’ needs over their own, even when it leads to personal detriment.
Another study by Okun et al. (2018) from Workforce Wise revealed that people-pleasers tend to experience heightened stress and anxiety due to their constant efforts to meet others’ expectations, indicating a significant impact on mental health.
These qualities, when rooted in genuine care rather than fear or obligation, make you a compassionate and considerate person. But when they tip into self-sacrifice, they can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and a loss of identity.
True kindness includes kindness toward yourself. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to take up space. And it’s okay to prioritise your own happiness, too.
Originally published at https://www.newsbreak.com.
